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02-Feb-2016 23:37 by 10 Comments

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Following some time, a month or so, we made the decision to meet. There were some “irreconcilable differences” as they say.The first date was amazing, because we already knew so much about the other person and we were very relaxed. In addition to that, he got a job across the country, and it would have had to turn into a long distance relationship, we both agreed it would never work.

It makes you sound like all you care about is our bodies, that’s the most important part to you. You are more than welcome to have your preferences, but putting down other body types or other people’s preferences is NOT okay. ) Understand that some things are a little tougher for us.

I mean, now i am not into the whole BBW “scene” and i also don’t shoot any videos or pictures or do my hair and face up in a certain way and stuff.

I’m simply a regular girl who actually is overweight or whatever and who is also attractive to many people. I don’t want to date someone who is only attracted to extra fat chicks because I’m more than a fat girl.

I then researched some more and saw some pictures of these amazing girls who were plus-sized, stunning and sexy. There was an entire world where a large woman is the queen.

I actually instantly decided I desired to be queen too.

So I figured I’d create a handy how-to list, which will hopefully be helpful to those ready to pop on out of the fat closet, or who already have but aren’t having much success. Mentioning this first because it’s SUPER important, and it’s the first thing guys tend to mess up on. ) All that being said: weight is just something you shouldn’t mention to anyone in a first conversation, fat or thin. We’re real people with real personalities and feelings. That can be a real self-esteem killer for us, and it can make us gun shy. Just try to assure her that you’re attracted to what’s on the inside the outside! A lot of times when a fat girl is out with a guy in public, people assume that they’re ‘just friends.’ There’s such a stigma out there that fat girls never get the guy. Understand that us ladies live in a culture where every magazine, every commercial, every ad is telling us that our bodies are wrong. It’s not who a person is, but you can’t ignore it either. Your mileage may vary on any of these points, of course.

This is written in a pretty heteronormative manner, which I apologize for, but the experiences I’m most familiar with are men trying to chase women. I’ve seen so many opening lines, especially on dating sites, along the lines of Here’s the thing. It makes us feel like you’re talking to us JUST for our body. You don’t need to have the username ‘bbwlover2012’, you don’t need to talk in your profile about how you’re looking for a fat girl, or how you define yourself as a chubby chaser*. So we can tend to be a little leery when a guy professes interest. If you’ve managed to stick by rule number one, you might get a question like ‘So you don’t care that I’m fat? Take her out to dinner, to the movies, walk around town. We are not represented in media except as comic relief or the ‘before’ picture in a diet ad. Chances are, there will be days when someone says something vicious and it’s hard for her to shake it off. Living in a fat bodies shapes many experiences for a person, and it’s important to understand and be sensitive to it. If she wants to call herself chunky, or curvy, or voluptuous, let her. And if you’re going to compliment her, don’t do it in a backhanded way. All girls are different, all girls want slightly different things. I really like it when someone is enthusiastic about online dating in general, and especially about online BBW dating.This is certainly a crazy world and often there are too many bad things happening and we really should give attention to love instead, so anytime someone wants to speak about love, dating, and friendship, I’m all for it! I had been in my mid-20s when I first started considering about myself as a BBW and it kind of happened thanks to my circle of friends.I’ve thankfully been in a relationship for over two years now–I say thankfully, because it’s tough out there (well, that and I’m very much in love with my boyfriend! As fat girls, we spend a lot of our lives being treated differently–and it’s usually not in a good way. We’re just looking for you to get it and not do more of the same! Again, can’t speak for all fat girls, but lots of us have had a lot of bad experiences when it comes to dating. We get worried if your friends are going to judge us or snigger. I mentioned that most of us have had bad experiences, being the ‘secret’ lover, not ever getting to meet a guy’s friends, and it’s really quite painfully true. There are lots of folks out there who hate fat people.) The more I talk to my friends, the more I realize that men have idea how to talk to fat girls. I realize that attraction is important and some people are attracted to fat bodies (which is totally cool! As much as it may seem counterintuitive since I’m writing a whole post on how to date a fat girl, but a lot of this can be boiled down to this simple statement: date a fat girl the same way you’d date any other girl. Men who’ll talk the good talk but won’t be seen with us in public, men who’ll have sex with us but make fun of fat girls to their friends, men who think we’re ‘desperate’ and ‘easy’ and just a quick lay. This might sound harsh, but you have no idea how many men expect some kind of reward for being attracted to fat girls. Maybe it’s not socially ‘in’ right now, but the fact of the matter is, PLENTY of guys like fat girls. We worry if your parents are going to tell you ‘you can do better.’ Any time you think it’s hard for you, remember it’s a lot harder for us. The fact that I have to add this piece of advice kind of makes me sad, but I feel it’s important. The vitriol some people have for others based purely on body size can be quite frightening. But the truth is, fat is one of those defining features that can’t really be ignored. Fat isn’t a bad thing to be, and both of you need to realize that.These websites are usually very safe places and the people are so laid back and open up for new contacts. Yet that’s something that can be applied to almost any online dating site, not just BBW dating. You need to be smart though and I’ve discovered the hard way about online safety. Do not share your phone number, your address, or any sort of personal info, until you are definate you’re dealing with a good respectable, normal person.

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