Stop being intimidating
Stop being intimidating - seniordatingagency com
I struggle with distinguishing between jealousy, intimidation, and wanting to be someone’s friend.
So I guess the moral is don’t describe people as intimidating unless they’re literally threatening you. ALSO, we’re all intimidated by each other, secretly.Like, if you’re a girl and you argue against something, people easily perceive you as an angry bitch.I feel like this hardly happens with guys in high school.I don’t think I’ve ever felt intimidated by a teenage boy, but I’m self-conscious around boys I think are cool. I’ve had crushes on a lot of boys who were really cute and intelligent, but never acted on them.Boys are just inherently intimidating to me—I’m only friends with girls so I don’t understand boys like 99% of the time. I’ve liked boys from afar, and I would automatically write them off because I thought they wouldn’t think I was cute, or I would guess that we wouldn’t share any interests.I don’t feel angry at people who are cooler than me—I don’t like want to wreck their life because they have a boyfriend and I don’t, or they hang out with rock bands and I don’t.
Intimidation could just be feeling like you’re inadequate in comparison to a person.
I get intense admiration for people, and then get nervous that it won’t be reciprocated! HAZEL: I don’t think being selective makes you intimidating, and you’ll always encounter people who seem genuine and then it turns out they’re not, so it’s good to be aware of the vibes you get from people or what they’re saying about you.
But sometimes my instincts are right—I’ve met new people and thought they were too cool for me because they like they were too good to talk to me. HAZEL: I don’t want to waste time with people who won’t give me the time of day! I think we uphold this idea of, like, That is great and awesome, but it’s also totally normal to care what people think of you.
HAZEL: I was whining to a friend about boys not liking me, and he said, “I think guys are just intimidated by you.” I was offended—it seemed like a cop-out! A friend in high school told me that other people found me intimidating—she said it in a way that wasn’t insulting.
I initially accepted people telling me I was intimidating, but the more I thought it the angrier I got. At first I interpreted it to mean mysterious or unapproachable; since I usually felt so self-conscious and insecure, I kind of thought, I definitely used to get people saying, “Before I knew you, I thought you were a bitch.” That concerns me so much, because it makes me wonder what they were basing that assessment on—MY RESTING FACIAL EXPRESSION? Also, I felt that by calling me intimidating, people were trying to turn into something negative, as in “I don’t want to work in a group with Gabby, she intimidates me.” HAZEL: Oh shit, you’re right!
GABBY: Also, I’ve never felt intimidating in terms of my appearance. GABBY: I don’t think you look intimidating, but you do have, like, an UNTOUCHABLE COOL. GABBY: I’ve felt this with basically every great friend I have—sort of like a game-recognize-game situation.